School Admission

My son is having his summer vacation now. The school is going to reopen in June. Oh ,that takes me back to the the time when I ran around to get admission for him to LKG.
In Bangalore , getting admission in a reputed school is the most difficult thing. Admission process for the next academic year starts right from the month of September in some schools and in some it could be later, but mostly before Jan itself.

So ,there came the time for running around for admission when my son turned 3.5 years. I discussed with my friends and colleagues to get to know about the so called reputed schools . I applied in two schools, one in Kormangala and one in Indiranagar.

I was staying in Kormangala then , so wanted to put my son in a good school in Koramangala itself. I think , it was end of Novemeber when we got an interview call from the school nearby. Typically ,most of the people who applied dont get even the interview call. I had not received any call from the school in Indiranagar and later came to know that they even closed their admissions. So , I was happy when I received interview call from the school in Koramangala .

Yes , it is the interview for 3.5 year old kid for the next academic year. And remember ,the interview is not just for kid , for parents too.Almost all the good schools in Bangalore insist that both the parents have to be present during the interview.

On the interview day , my son and I walked to the principal's room. Principal (who also is part of the school management) , Head master and one more lady teacher were present inside the room. After the small initial discussion with me about where I stay ,my job etc, the lady teacher in the room took my son two seats away and started asking some questions.Their conversation was not audible to me.Yes, the interview of the kid has started.

The principal and the head master turned towards me for the next set of questions in stock.

Principal : Mam, so , how come your husband did not turn up ?

I : Sir ..Sir..I am a divorcee

Principal : Oh is it ? How long you have been separated ? Are you legally separated ?

I : Yes , Sir.I am legally divorced , a year back.

Principal : Has your child coped up with this ?

I sat tongue tied for a moment as the pain in my heart was finding its way out through my throat and eyes.

I said in a trembing voice , struggling to ensure that the tears dont run down my cheeks

"He has never seen his father. We have been living separately from the 3rd month of my pregnancy , but the divorce was initiated 2 years back only."

Principal : Oh I see. Dont worry. We have quiet a children whose parents are single parents. We give those children special attention as some of them could be a bit emotionally insecure. We even give some nominal discount on the fee too for such children.

I was happy.

Principal : Have you applied in some other schools ?

I : No sir. We live in Kormangala very near to your school .So , I want my son to study here.

Principal : You should try in other schools too. There is a school called "Cathedral". You can try there.

I : Sir. I would like to put him in this school itself as I have heard from my colleagues that this is a good school.My kid being small , I dont want him to go to distant schools.

Principal : Yeah. But you should try in other schools too..

I did not say anything. It was an indirect way of saying that they did not want to give admission to a single parent's child..

Principal added ," We would publish the list of selected students on the school notice board within 2 weeks. You can come and check."

I looked at the side where my son is sitting. His interview was going on !!

Principal asked the teacher ,"Are you done ?"

Teacher , "Yes".

I said "Thank You" and came out of the room with my son. The result was known to me.

My mom was waiting outside.

She asked , "Is the interview over ?"

I : Yes.

Mom : Did he get admission.?

I : They will publish it later. But , I dont think that his name will be there in the list.

Mom : Why?

I narrated the entire conversation. My mom shouted at me " Who asked you to tell the principal that you are a divorcee ? "

I : Amma ..This is not some thing I want to hide from them. Is it a crime to be a divorcee ? They should not later trouble my son asking him about his father.

Amma : You can't be honest every where. Look now ,what has happened?

I : Amma , but what is wrong ?

Amma : These schools think that children of single parents could be emotionally insecure or do not get the care they need from home and due to all these issues the children may underperform in their studies. And they dont want anybody to underperform.

I : Amma , I told the principal that he has not even seen his father. Then where is the question of he being worried about a person whom he has not even seen.

Amma: If you want school admission for your child , dont repeat this mistake. That is all I have to tell you.

I was shattered. I did not know what to do. What kind of a world is this ?
I asked God ," You want to trouble me again and again ? Do you get any sadistic pleasure by hurting me every now and then ?"

Two weeks later , though I had no hope , I went to the school to check the admission list published on the notice board. As expected , my son's name was not there in the list.

I told one of my senior colleagues about this.
He said ," Dont worry about such things yar . Go and get application forms from some more schools.

He gave me a list of schools in the city. The next day , I went and checked with 2 schools in the city. They are old schools , but reputed ones. Their admissions had not started. I collected the applications forms from both the schools.In one of them ,they asked me to give the filled applications form by next day as it was the last day for submitting the filled application. I did so.

This time , I was careful in filling the application form. The application form had fields for filling the names of parents , address , phone numbers etc. No where it had any field for the marital status of the parents. I filled my name and my ex-husband's name .
I thought , "Luckily divorce can only take away the status of being wife or husband and not the status of being mother and father to the child . So , I have not given any wrong information in the application form. This time , I wont add the additional information that we got divorced for which any way no provision exists in the application form."

3 days after submitting the application form, we got interview call from the school in the city. I took some more effort this time to prepare my son for the interview. I ensured that he could sing few rhymes, tell a small story ,identify the colours ,say the English Aphabets and count numbers 1-20.

We went inside the principal's room. Principal and one more lady were there. Principal, smiled looking at both of us.

Principal ," Please come in".

I touched my son from behind and murmured 'Say Good afternoon , say good afternoon'

My son : Good Afternoon Sir

The first sigh of relief for me. Both of us were asked to sit.My son was asked sit next to the madam . I had decided to take an anticipatory bail this time.

As soon as I sat ,

I told the principal,"Sir ,my husband is in Kerala and could not make for this interview as he is busy with some official matters.."

Principal " It is okay "

I was a bit relieved.

Principal asked my son: How are you ?

My son looked at me..

I said with an artificial smile " Come on ,Tell him how you are"

My son , looked down and answered reluctantly : Fine

Principal : How old are you ?

My son again looked at me . I said " Tell". He answered : Three and half years

Principal : Good. What is your mother's name ?

My son murmured again : :xxxxxx"

Principal : What is your father's name ?

My son looked at me , conveying me his helplessness and said in Malayalam to me ,
" Ariyilla Amme ( I dont know) "

All the while he has been answering in English , and for this question , he suddenly switched to Malayalam to tell me that he did not know.

He was in a way conveying me that I had not taught him his father's name. Yes,my mistake. It was my mistake.

I did not know what to say. I sat there like a lifeless creature. Tears were struggling in my eyes to come out. I thought, 'Am I going to fail again?"

It seemed like principal was not bothered about why he did not answer the question.

(I was not sure whether he is a Malayali. In most of the christian schools in Bangalore , there are lots of Malayali teachers.I was thinking , Did he understand what my son told me"?)

Principal asked my son to sing a rhyme. My son sang one rhyme . The lady teacher next to him asked him to identify the colour of her saree.

He said " Yellow".

I sighed. Only one question he could not answer, His father's name .

Principal said ," You can pay the fees for this year tomorrow or within 2 days. "

I could not believe my ears.

I asked , "Sir , is his admission confirmed"

He said smilingly ,"Yes"


I came out with my son. My mom was waiting outside. I was having my 70mm smile on my face and told my mom , " He got selected"

When we reached home , I searched for my wedding Album kept inside my ward robes. I showed the Album to my son.

He asked me , "Amma , what is this ?"

I : These are the photoes taken at the time of my marriage.

He touched the picture of the person who was standing next to me in the photo and asked "Who is he ?"

I said " This is your father. His name is XXXXXXX. Say what is your father's name ?"

My son smiled at me. I could see lot of questions in his eyes..

He asked me " Where is he now ? "

I said ," He is in Kerala. Tell me what his name is .

My son , " XXXX".

I said , "Here after if some body asks your father's name , you should tell "My father's name is XXXX" , Okay ??.

My son nodded his head.

I : Tell me once again "What is your father's name ?"

My son : XXXXX

I : Good.

My son : But Amma , Abhi's father live with him . Akash's father also live with him.So why "XXXXX" is not living with us ?

I was almost into tears by then , but answered ," He is busy there in his office. And not just that Kerala is tooooooo far from here. So he cant come. "

My son did not ask anything further. I tried to change the topic and took him outside where his friends were playing

I also joined them and told all his friends , "Look your friend "XXXXXX" got admission in "xxxxxxx" school.

All of them clapped. My son smiled and clapped his hands. Seeing his smile , i realised that the pain in my heart was fading away and away..