The other day I was thinking that life has become so horrible , so horrible that I want to run away from it as far as I can. Of course , dont get me wrong , am not planning for any suicide :-)
But it is a fact that it has become horrible . Now a days , days in office are horrible . I come back home and then there awaits a big list of issues which I need to tackle.
Homework and class tests for my son ( now a days he has become so irresponsible that he never has mood to study partly attributed to his never ending health problems ) , other issues at home which I need to attend to - provision is over , electricity bill not paid , drinking water is not supplied by the agency even after calling them 10 times etc etc. Result - my remaining part of the late evening ( after 7.30 PM ) also is equally horrible ..
I was just thinking when was the last time I had a heartful laughter. 1 month back , 2 months back , NO.......it has been now months or years that I had a heartful laughter. Does life become so horrible after one gets into "Gruhasthasramam".
I was just looking back to the days when I was a teenager. There has n't been a single day without laughter during my engineering days. I used to laugh for anything and everything, thanks to the comedians in the class. The result was that most days I would be caught in the class for laughing loudly listening to the jokes of the back benchers ( and the point is that all of them knew how to control laughter except me ).
I used to sit in the last but one bench and our great comedians in the last bench. They would pass comments about the teacher , about the friends sitting in the front bench , about me , my friends sitting near to me and so on and on. Every one had the great mind to accept joke as a joke even if it is about oneself - could be about the way one walks , talks , looks etc - everyone accepts it with a grin on their face ( we say "chammal" ) and join others in laughing.
Perhaps I was the one who had mastered the art of laughter that I had no control on it. Place , time nothing mattered for me for a heartful laugh. I had good and bad effects due to that nature. Good thing is that when people in my class made their own circles of friends comprising of 5-6 people , I was a friend of all and all were my friends. Bad thing is that my seat moved to front bench in some classes as some teachers felt that I am laughing at them ( some kind of complex, what else I can say? ). Most of the teachers we had were guest lecturers who were none other than our seniors who passed the course. They neither had any grip on the subject nor they knew how to handle the class. So , poor me was there in their "hit list". But there were some sensible persons in that lot whom I still remember.
One day our electronics teacher, again our senior turned guest lecturer , was taking basic electronics class to us. My classmate - "Siju" came in to the class little late dressed up exactly like our guest lecturer- full sleeves shirt , the topmost button of the shirt also was closed like our lecturer and was holding a big umbrella with a U-Shaped handle . The folded umbrella came to the class first followed by my classmate - lean and tall like the electronics lecturer. He was looking exactly like our lecturer. He sought permission to enter the class and came in and sat next to my bench. He looked at me and asked me how his style was. I smiled at him. The trigger for my laughter had already started. He asked me to call my friend "Neenu" sitting next to me. He checked with her how his "lecturer style " was. I could not control laughter looking at my classmate's expressions and bursted. But the class was going on , I wanted to somehow control the laughter. So , I bent my head down and tried to control the laughter. But unfortunately , the peak sound came out , no matter how ever much I tried to hide it. I was caught by the lecturer and was asked to stand up. I stood up struggling again to control my laughter.
He asked , " Rachana, what is there to laugh so much ? " I did not know what to say. I looked at my friend Siju expecting that he would accept the crime.
Siju said , "Sir , it had been some time that this disease started for her. She laughs alone without any reason. Poor girl , high time that something should be done about it."
Now , that the entire class laughed. Lecturer did not want to leave his so called "seriousness" .
He asked me , "tell me , what is Op-amp" ( operational amplifier )?
I was not listening to his class and hence I did not even understand the term.
I said , "Sir , I have never heard of such a "pamp" ". Again , the class bursted into laughter.
The lecturer said that if I did not want to sit in the class , I could go out. But he said it smilingly. That gave me the courage to speak further.
I told him , " You should be appreciating the fact that I am awake in the class. Most others are sleeping sir. Especially ,you look at the guys in the front bench . They pretend to listen to your class , but they are sleeping. At least I am awake".
The lecturer also wanted to laugh , but he smiled and controlled his laughter. He asked me to sit down. I knew that I was pardoned. He was there for sometime only until he got another job, but he used to help me in labs and used to tell me that I need to focus more on studies. He was like a friend to all of us .
I had innumerable incidents in the class to have heartful laughs. I had the liberty ( or I took the liberty) to call everyone by their nickname ( some boys did not like girls calling them nicknames though they were okay when boys called) and ensured that I call them only by their nicknames. I had some 3-4 nicknames and I accepted all with pleasure.
One day , some one introduced the game of "spot on the inner palm" ( game played by middle school childern and not meant for college students like us. But we never felt that it was below our level of maturity :-) ) . As part of this game ( it is a month long one ) , we need to have a black/blue ink spot on the inner palm every daywhen we meet the team members of this game. In case , we forget to put this spot , then we should be ready for the punishment. Punishment also gets decided before the game - it could be a treat in the canteen , or hit /beating from the fellow members etc. I was also in one of the groups to play this game- we had 3 members including me. My friend "Rama" used to remind me everyday to put this spot before I enter the class. The punishment was beating in case not done. Most days I forget and some how I managed based on the reminders of my good friend "Rama". One day I forgot and did not have a pen too to put the spot , but yes , "had an idea". I took the black bindi from my forehead and stuck it on my palm. The generous boys in my team pardoned me . They did not anyway want to beat a female. So they warned that next time onwards , these kinds of spots would not be accepted. Next time , unfortunately , one of the boys in my team ( who was the class representative ) , forgot to put the spot. It was my chance to exercise the punishment. I had no mercy. I decided to execute the punishment. Took a big book and folded it. I asked the boy to bend down so as to be ready for the beating on the back with the book. Poor guy bent and mercilessly I beated with the book.
2-3 days later , again I forgot to put the spot and my team decided to execute the punishment. I had no voice also because I had mercilessly beated one of the guys. They decided to exeute the punishment in front of the whole class. I looked at my friend- class rep whom I beated mercilessly- with an expression of helplessness on my face - to excuse me from the punishment. He also took the same record book , folded it and came towards me. He was 6 ft tall and medium built. I could not even imagine getting beaten up. I pleaded to him ,"Please dont beat me. Excuse me no.. pls". Every body said that I could not be excused and the punishment had to be severe. I was getting prepared to get beaten up. I looked at him again coveying to him not to beat me. He came to me and asked me to stretch my right palm. I closed my eyes ready to get the beating. At last -- he beated gently on my palm 3 times with the book. I opened my eyes. He said that the punishment was over. I jumped out of joy and thanked the guy for not giving me a "severe" punishment. May be , it was all childish acts those days , but there wasn't a day without laughter.
There is a lot of distance from "Rachana" of engineering days to the "Rachana"- an IT engineer and mother of 10 year old boy. I have forgotten how to laugh. I have even forgotten how to cry. Is this maturity ? The so called "maturity" you gain once you grow older and older. I dont know.
One thing , I know - I want to be the same old "Rachana" at least for sometime in my life and want to laugh with my whole heart.
