Mother's Day

Tomorrow is May 11th , Mother's day. A day for all the mothers in the world !!!
So , it is my day too, being the mother of my cute son !!!
Motherhood starts from the day the baby is born in her womb..and she needs to prepare herself to welcome the god's gift , her baby..
Years back..
I remember the day I was admitted in the hospital for delivery. The doctors came and checked .
They said " The baby's head is not fixed , still there is time".
They took me to the labour room to monitor the baby's movements and also to know the level of my pain. They put a big belt kind of thing which was connected to the monitor next to me. When they were putting the belt around my stomach , they tried to tighten it.
I said .."Oh , no, dont tighten it like that , it will hurt him.."
The nurse looked at me and laughed.
She said, "We are seeing a mother like this for the first time.Dont get scared like this "
She turned on the monitor and sat about 20 ft away from my cot. She was trying to watch the movement of the spikes on the monitor.Suddenly my son moved around inside my womb to the extent that the nurse could see the movements in my stomach sitting 20 ft away.
I said "Ahh..'..
One side of my stomach , I could see the projection which could be his head .Normally they say towards the delivery the movements would be less. But in my case , it was becoming more as I was nearing my delivery date. He moves around so fast and quickly that it pains and I even feel breathless for seconds..Very naughty he is , right from the day he is born in my womb.
My mother used to say "I have not seen such kind of movements for anybody.."
The nurse said "Yes, Your baby has decided to scare you more.."
I asked her "Do you need this monitor to watch his movements inside the womb. You could as well watch it on my stomach sitting there."
She laughed.I was asked to go back to my room. The next day afternoon , the doctors came again for checking.
They said that I need to be admitted to labour room .
I said' But I dont have any pain"..
Doctor said "You need to be admitted as spotting is seen".
I went to the labour room. The nurse gave me enema. My stomach was cleaned fully. She asked me not to eat anything. I was sent back to my room again. It was around 7 PM.My son continued his circus inside my stomach every now and then giving me moments of pain and breathlessness. The pain was increasing every movement . I was taken to the labour room again. They again tried to check the level of labour pain. The doctor also came this time.
She said "It is not labour pain .It could be due to the movements".
But they asked me to be there in the labour room itself. I was asked to lie on a cot, the level of which was very high. I was having a very big and pendulus abdomen due to which I always used to struggle to even turn from one side to other while lying on the bed. Somehow I managed to climb on the cot and lie down. My pain was getting more and more.It must have been around 9 PM , I wanted to drink something.Finally the nurse allowed me to have a glass of black coffee. Since my pain was more , they again measured the level and the spikes , and again concluded that it is not labour pain.
I was wondering , "if this is not labour pain , what is this" ?
My son was becoming more and more restless , hitting me with his head and legs. Minutes seemed to be hours for me and hours seemed to days.My mom was waiting outside the labour room. I was praying God .Nobody else was there in the labour room other than me , the nurse and one more girl. For her , it is going to be caesarean the next day morning. I was again crying with pain.
The nurse was reading a magazine.
She shouted at me " Why are you crying like this not allowing us to even sleep ?"
I was shocked. She is on night duty and she wants to sleep ?
The nurse continued her magazine reading. The lady lying in the next cot looked at me with sympathy. It must have been around 1 PM .I was not able to tolerate the pain any more.
I called the nurse.."Please , please call the doctor. I am having so much pain.
She came to my cot and looked at me and said "No ,it is not time.I know when to call the doctor"
I kept silent. I was praying God again. It must have been around 2 PM. I was almost into tears due to pain. I requested the nurse to call the duty doctor. The main doctor stays next to the hospital. Only if required , they would call her.
The nurse said "No' to my request. My pain overruled my patience level.
I shouted at her'You need to call the doctor.I cant stand this pain.."
Very reluctantly she called the duty doctor.
I could hear her telling over the phone " The patient here is making lot of noise.Please come to the labour room".
At last the duty doctor arrived. I was all into tears by then. She came and examined me.
The same sentence "No , labour pain has not started ".
I was wondering what does this labour pain mean if all that I am undergoing through is not labour pain.
I asked her why you are telling like this ? I will die .."
She tried to break the membrane and water started flowing.
She said " I am doing this so that your labour pain would start" .
She went back. It must have been 3 PM . I was writhing in pain. Not able to even turn to the other side because of the large abdomen.
I called the nurse " Could please help me to turn to the other side , Please .." I cried.
She came to me and turned me to the other side. I told her to call the doctor again. She refused initially .
I was stubburn.. "Please call the doctor. Do something..I will die. If I cant have normal delivery , take me to operation theatre. Please ..I cant stand this..Please "
She called the doctor again .The duty doctor came. She instructed the nurse to move me to the labour table next to the cot I was lying. They moved me to the table. I was put on drips. The doctor told me that there is medicine in the drips which would help me to have labour pain. The needle went into my hands..I wanted to go to the toilet. They did not allow. They put a tube to take the urine out. It was only pain every where , while putting needle , tube..But it did not affect me as already my pain had reached a level of saturation..
The doctor went back. The nurse was sitting next to me with magazine.I was crying , crying.Slowly the pain increased further.I did not even know that i was crying loudly at times. Time was passing by..
I asked the nurse "When will my baby come out ?".
She said "I dont know,God decides it."
I pleaded her "Then please call doctor and take me to operation theatre .I will die otherwise."
I did not know what was happening and where and all it was paining.After some time the nurse called the doctor .The main doctor also came.I was crying loudly.Looks like something is stuck inside.But not coming out. I tried hard to push .
The doctor said.."You need to push harder.."
I tried my level best again and again..(My mother later told me that she went to the other buiding as she was not able to stand there peacefully hearing me crying..But as she reached the next building , there also my voice was heard..She was chanting "Narayana, Narayana " to have a normal and smooth delivery for me) I was not knowing anything..I must have been crying so loudly that it reached the next building too..At last at 5.44 am , he came out.
The doctor asked me "Do you want a boy or girl"..
I whispered "I know , it is he"..
She asked me "So , you knew it already "..
I said "yes"..
The nurse brought my son to me.I was lying on the labour table. She came to the side of my head and showed my baby.He was so cute.Pink in colour , Bright and big eyes.Normally the new born babies have their eyes closed.But his eyes were wide open.I wanted to touch him.But , i realised that I was so dirty.I gently touched him with the tip of my forefinger.
I smiled..I wanted to tell to the whole world that I have become a mother.
The nurse told me "At last , you smiled"..
I was so happy , so happy that I forgot all the pain I underwent. The doctor told me that they never expected me to have a normal delivery because the baby's head was not fixed and also I was having a huge tummy than normal ( People used to think that I have 2 babies inside my womb).They were planning to move me to operation theatre in the morning had I not delivered by morning.
They asked me "who is waiting outside the labour room "?
I said " My mom..".
They went out along with my baby. I thought of my husband.
After a couple of hours , I was brought to my room. My baby was already there..
I told my mom"Could you please phone "xxxx" (My husband) him and tell him that he has become a father ? I want to see him.."
My mom said "I have already done that"
I looked at my son. His weight was 3.6 Kg..
I thought that my husband would come that day to see my son. He never came to meet me from the 3rd month of my pregnancy. I fought with fate to overcome all the miseries I faced during pregnancy. At least now , will he not have the desire to see his baby ? I was sure that God wont leave me to struggle any more.I thought that he would come running to see his cute baby..
But God was not kind. My husband did not turn up that day.The next day afternoon , he came with his parents.My mom and relatives were there.It must have been 6 months since I met my husband. I looked at him and our baby.
I told him ," I want to speak to you..Please let us have 5 min alone."
His parents and my relatives went outside.
I told him "Our son is cute..He looks like you.."
He looked at my son.
I again said "Please dont go today"..
He said "I need to ..I will speak to you after 2 months'..
I was shocked.
I said "We have become father and mother now. Please dont leave me and our son alone any more. What do you want to speak to me after 2 months? Why cant you tell me now ?"
He said "Now , you are tired..I will tell you once you regain your health after 2 months"
He said looking at the watch "Oh it is time now , I need to go.."
He must have hardly spent 15 min in the hospital. He left.
He left to tell me later over phone that he wanted to live his life the way he wants and was not bothered about what the society says.
He added " Do you know Hilari clinton supported Bill Clinton when the Levensky Scandal was there.If you wanted a father for your son ,you also should have kept quiet.I cannot change my life style for a wife and a son. I have all the freedom to live my life the way I want. ".
I did not know what to tell.. I knew that there was no point in talking.. I was shocked..I was shattered.
Yes, he has all the right and freedom to live the life he wants..But ,does anybody has right to spoil some body else's life ?.
He never came again.I was left all alone with a small baby ..
I have seen mother cats licking their kitten in love ..This man , doesnt he feel any kind of love and affection towards his own blood ? Whom else he can love ?
If motherhood means the world for me , if my baby means more than the world for me , what is fatherhood? I dont know..
My baby and I sailed through everything..
We are happy here in the corner of this world with lots and lots of love for each other..
I wish that we remain mother and son for all the births to come..