It was with shock that I watched the news in TV channels about the Delhi Gang rape. What shocked me the most was that it happened just after 9 PM in a chartered bus in the capital city !!!
How many times I have travelled in private buses in Kerala after 9 PM ? Many a times during my mid 20-s. Thank God that I reached home safe on all those Saturdays when I travelled back home by private buses after the office hours in the neighbouring town. That was inevitable those days for a spinster like me.
Now, years later , story is differnt. Some days, I drive back home after 10 PM through the city of Cochin after long hours of work at office. I was asking myself whether I should call myself bold or stupid. After hearing all these shocking news, I realize now that the second word is apt for me for the "bold act" of driving in the night.
It is better to be more cautious in a world where the females are being hunted day and night . So, I have realized that my saftey comes first , everything else next- be it work or any other important matter. There is enough protest happening now and hopefully govt may act now to ensure safety and security for women. But not sure whether all those could help us all the time.
So, Queens and princesses, let us take care of ourselves . All other safety and security measures are secondary. If they are of help in the hour of need, well and good. These are some simple suggestions.
You may add more..
1. Travel
Avoid travelling late night alone, if possible. In case you need to travel, do the following.
a. Carry a bottle of pepper spray.
b.Speed dial buttons in your mobile to be configured with numbers like 100 ( Police) , 181 ( recently introduced one by DoT for women helpline). With one click, you should be able to call.
c.Travel in buses with enough passengers
d. Call up your home or friends and inform that you have boarded so and so vehicle . You say this a bit loudly so that the driver and the co-passengers hear it . Ensure that your mobile is fully charged. You may even talk to your near and dear often so that they also know that you are safe and could be of help in case you need help.
e. While traveling in bus, if the fellow passengers trouble you , do not try to confront them directly, inform the bus conductor. Call the women help line and seek their advice, if needed.
f. In case you are travelling by train, and if you are not comfortable with felllow passengers, request the TT for change of seat or berth. You may even request directly to a passenger whom you find trustworthy for exchange of seats.
g. Do not trust any of your fellow passengers blindly. Do not accept any eatables from them . Reject politely, if offered.
h. In case you are travelling by auto , make sure that you go by the main road where there is more traffic and enough people. Avoid short cuts without street lights. Lit and busy roads are better even though they could be long. Insist the driver that you want to go through well lit roads only before you hire the auto. Sit near the side of the auto so that in case of any problem , you should be at least able to jump out of the auto :-)
2. Trust
Dont trust this species blindly. I mean the male species. I am not a feminist. But the fact is that women need to be careful and hence I need to write these. Now a days, the male species seem to be worse than animals. Every news I read, makes me believe so. There may be exceptions too - but yes they are exceptions and not commonly found :-)
Let us educate our daugthers about good touch and bad touch. Do not leave your daughters alone at home or with neighbors . Your most trusted uncle or most trusted neighbor can change their color some times. As parents , let us do all things to ensure safety of our daughters - the little princesses.
Teenagers - Your age is the sweetest of all , but at the same time you need to be very careful. This is the age when you feel that love is divine , love is eternal and love is what not..
Be careful before you fall in love. True love is mostly found only in old movies and songs. Now days, even films dont talk about it. So realize this fact before you fall in love. Use your brains first to assess the person before you lose your heart to him. Many of the rape vicitims were trapped by their lovers only.
Now , ladies- young princesses and queens - let us be more cautious while dealing with men. Your trusted friend or trusted cousin or even teacher may have a different face which you have never seen. But one thing I can tell you that if they have a differnet colour that would have come out at least once and you also would have noticed it - could be a bad comment , an indecent look at you , a bad gesture or inappropriate way of dressing. Did you notice it once ? Take it from me - you need to be careful about this person. Your intuition works better in these cases and mostly your intuitions are right.
3. Teach
Educate your sons right from childhood that women need to be treated with respect. Induce in them the feeling that men need to treat them equally and at the same time protect them. If your husband is some one who demonstrates the respect for ladies , most likely your son also would do the same. Let us make an attempt to mould a better youth for tomorrow.
Having said this , one can ask how the society demonstrates respect towards ladies ?
I feel ashamed when I look at some of the TV ads and some of the so called new generation movies. Do you really need such ads and such scenes in movies to promote their products/films ? I would say , "NO".
One can ask ," How about the undergarments ads appearing in magazines for women? " Yes, they do appear. If they are vulgar , these magazines should not publish them.
Yet some of you can ask , "What is the boundary of vulgarity ?" Is n't it subjective ?
"Yes. It is..Anything which you can see/watch with your family is fine. If it is not , it is vulgar. "
Every time I see Vanessa ad (ladies' undergarments from V- guard ) in TV , I dont know where to run away if my parents and son are with me. The guy asks , "Vanessa means, butterfly , isn't it ? The lady replies with a seducing expression , " Do you want to try ? "Is this kind of an ad needed to sell this product in market ? Can't the ad companies come up with a decent innovative ad and prove that these products can still be sold - may be much more better?
I watched 4 movies during this Christmas holidays. I took the CDs from the near by video rental shop. I was in confusion which one to watch first and finally picked up "Trivandrum Lodge" because I was so impressed by the movie "Beautiful" from Anoop Menon and expected "Trivandrum Lodge" also to be of same standard, if not better. The name of the movie did not sound all that good. But I did not want to make any wrong judgement without seeing the movie. The first scene was a shock. After watching for 15 min , I did not want to watch it further. Still I continued just because of the "beautiful" impression of Anoop's previous film. All the males in the movie and all the ladies in the movie think and talk only one thing and you know what that 3 letter word is. What a shame ? Even "beautiful" movie had some of those dirty dialogues when Jayasoorya went about selecting his home nurse. But that was only momentary.
Some of the so called intelligent people may say that these movies are different and people like me dont have the intelligence to enjoy such "classics" .I prefer to be less intelligent here..
Next one - Ranjith film - Spirit. Though every moment was soaked in spirit, the heroine's dress code also added spirit in few scenes. Were these really needed to sell Spirit ?
One can ask , a film is about mixing all these things in right proportions. What is wrong in it ?
"Pranchiyettan" was probably a better hit than Spirit without any of these scenes.
You are an idiot, Rachana. How can you compare "Pranchiyettana and Spirit". Spirit needs it .The story unveils around an upper class family. So, it needs it.
Yes, I am an idiot and better to remain so..
I dont want this post to end up in a film review.
Reward and recognize those good films and directors who portrays their female characters decently and demonstrates respect toward women .
Ad world - Think how can undergarments be sold without dirty dialogues and scenes..
I am not trying to say that these are the causes for a perverted male community. These are also some of the clear examples which show that the society does not show any respect towards women. They are treated as objects. So, how does one learn from society ?
With internet in front of us, these are nothing.. So, where lies the solution ?
I dont know.
Some say , solution would come if the right punishment is given to the culprits. May be so..
Sheela, the famous malayalam actress mentioned in an interview that permanent tattoos should be made on the culprit's forehead mentioning the crime he has done. I felt that it is a good suggestion. He wont get a chance to do the same crime again and it would be a warning to others who intend to do such crimes.
For the time being , the only solution lies in protecting ourselves.
Queens and Princesses , Take Care of Yourselves
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