I happened to read about a road accident in the front page of today's ( 27th May 08) Malayalam News Paper Mathrubhumi .
Road accidents keep happening and you may be wondering why something special about this ?
Read on ...
The news goes like this. In Kottayam , a couple travelling by two wheeler were knocked down by a KSRTC bus. The man was thrown to one side , but survived with minor injuries where as the bus ran over his wife and she got severely injured. The man somehow managed to reach to the spot where his wife was lying on the road. He pleaded for help to the passengers of all the vehicles that passed by . But none bothered about taking them to hospital. Finally after waiting for half an hour , the police reached with ambulance and took them to hospital. The lady , 27 years old , died in the hospital. The man was discharged since he was having only minor injuries. The couple has a small boy. Can any one of us imagine how much that man would have cried and pleaded to take his wife to the hospital ? It is said that if she were rushed to the hospital immediately after the incident , the hospital people probably could have saved her life.
Why everybody who passed by hesitated to take the accident victims to hospital ? It may be , may be because that one cannot just come out after reaching the victim to the hospital. He/she may have to find out his relatives ,contact them , anwer the questions of the police etc etc. But , isnt it that human life is precious than anything else in this world ?
It reminded me about a group mail I received on the supreme court judgement "Right to Emergency ' . I have pasted the copy of mail below.
The Supreme Court in a judgement on Right to Emergency Care, case no Appeal (civil) 919 of 2007 of 23 Feb 2007, has ruled that all injured persons especially in the case of road traffic accidents, assaults, etc., when brought to a hospital or medical centre, have to be offered first aid, stabilized and shifted to a higher centre / government centre if required. It is only after this that the hospital can demand payment or complete police formalities.
In case you are a bystander and wish to help someone in an accident, please go ahead and do so. Your responsibility ends as soon as you leave the person at the hospital. The hospital bears the responsibility of informing the police, providing first aid, etc.
Please do inform your family and friends about these basic rights so that we all know what to expect and what to do in the hour of need.
I searched in google to know whether the judgement is correct. Even checked the website of supremcourt . Supreme court has not passed any judgement on this. It was nothing but a rumour.
I went on with my search in google to find out what the law says about such a situation. I could get two things.
1 . A bill passed by Rajyasabha ( http://rajyasabha.nic.in/bills-ls-rs/2006/LXXXIX_%202006.pdf )
Rajya sabha has passed this bill in Nov 2006 to provide for compulsory medical aid to the victims of accidents by private hospitals and medical practioners and for building confidence amongst the members of public to come forward and help the accident victims.
2. A circular whihc I got from the website of "Department of Road , Transport and Highways" of Govt of India. ( http://morth.nic.in/index2.asp?langid=2&sublinkid=119 )
I have copied and pasted below some of the points from the circular just to emphasize on it.
"It has come to notice that on many occasions, the victims of road side accidents remain unattended for a longer time without medical aid or any help from the members of public till the arrival of police at the spot. The members of the public though basically have got an indifferent attitude in such situations, but due to the unnecessary involvement in the accidental cases, they in turn hesitate to remove the injured to the hospitals to which results in the loss of human life and the image of the police fades in the eyes of the public.
2. Keeping in view the unnecessary loss of human life, it becomes imperative to train our police personnel undergoing training in various courses (induct ional and promotional) on the following lines. The police personnel on duty either in police stations or in the hospital should politely put the following questions to the person who brings the injured to the hospital.
(i) Where have you brought this person?
(ii) Do you know anything about the case of the injury of the person?
(iii) May I have your particulars?
3. It is likely that the person would answer the first question, may not have an answer for the second and hesitate to reply the third in which case it should not be insisted upon. The escorters should, under no circumstances, be detained in the hospital for interrogation. On the other hand, he should be treated with courtesy.
4. At times the District Staff and the PCR vans also delay the removal of the injured to the hospital on account of various jurisdictional formalities or other duties regarding photographs etc. Instructions, therefore, need to be re-iterated once again that even a minor delay can mean a question of life or death for the injured. Without waiting for the photographer etc. the injured has to be removed to the hospital by the quickest means. Even in case of fatal accidents the first effort should be to take the injured to the hospital rather than declaring him dead on the spot by the PCR or the District Staff.
5. It is emphasized that the members of the public, who rendered voluntary help to persons injured in accidents, should not unnecessarily be questioned and detained at police stations. It has been observed that these orders are not being complied with.
6. It is, therefore, once again emphasized upon all concerned that people who bring accident victims to hospitals but treated with utmost courtesy and should not be harassed in any way. Even if they are unwilling to give their particulars, the same should not be insisted upon. "
It is also said in the Rajya sabha bill that the Govt shall ensure that the member of the public who reaches the accident victim to the hospital shall be paid the transportation charges incurred.
The legislation on this subject is long overdue and that is the reason that Rajya Sabha has passed this bill in 2006.
I feel that it is the duty of the media too to make public aware of such rules so that the public come forward to help the victims considering the fact that the no of road accidents in India , especially in Kerala is very alarming. ( I have not looked into the statistics of road accidents in India . But , if you look at the road accidents reported in news papers , I feel that it is alarmingly high)
As far as my opinion goes , even if we are unaware of these rules let us extend our help to the unfortunate victims irrespective of the complications involved in it. After all , accidents can happen to any one .
So.............................
Let us be human .
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Saturday, May 17, 2008
School Admission
My son is having his summer vacation now. The school is going to reopen in June. Oh ,that takes me back to the the time when I ran around to get admission for him to LKG.
In Bangalore , getting admission in a reputed school is the most difficult thing. Admission process for the next academic year starts right from the month of September in some schools and in some it could be later, but mostly before Jan itself.
So ,there came the time for running around for admission when my son turned 3.5 years. I discussed with my friends and colleagues to get to know about the so called reputed schools . I applied in two schools, one in Kormangala and one in Indiranagar.
I was staying in Kormangala then , so wanted to put my son in a good school in Koramangala itself. I think , it was end of Novemeber when we got an interview call from the school nearby. Typically ,most of the people who applied dont get even the interview call. I had not received any call from the school in Indiranagar and later came to know that they even closed their admissions. So , I was happy when I received interview call from the school in Koramangala .
Yes , it is the interview for 3.5 year old kid for the next academic year. And remember ,the interview is not just for kid , for parents too.Almost all the good schools in Bangalore insist that both the parents have to be present during the interview.
On the interview day , my son and I walked to the principal's room. Principal (who also is part of the school management) , Head master and one more lady teacher were present inside the room. After the small initial discussion with me about where I stay ,my job etc, the lady teacher in the room took my son two seats away and started asking some questions.Their conversation was not audible to me.Yes, the interview of the kid has started.
The principal and the head master turned towards me for the next set of questions in stock.
Principal : Mam, so , how come your husband did not turn up ?
I : Sir ..Sir..I am a divorcee
Principal : Oh is it ? How long you have been separated ? Are you legally separated ?
I : Yes , Sir.I am legally divorced , a year back.
Principal : Has your child coped up with this ?
I sat tongue tied for a moment as the pain in my heart was finding its way out through my throat and eyes.
I said in a trembing voice , struggling to ensure that the tears dont run down my cheeks
"He has never seen his father. We have been living separately from the 3rd month of my pregnancy , but the divorce was initiated 2 years back only."
Principal : Oh I see. Dont worry. We have quiet a children whose parents are single parents. We give those children special attention as some of them could be a bit emotionally insecure. We even give some nominal discount on the fee too for such children.
I was happy.
Principal : Have you applied in some other schools ?
I : No sir. We live in Kormangala very near to your school .So , I want my son to study here.
Principal : You should try in other schools too. There is a school called "Cathedral". You can try there.
I : Sir. I would like to put him in this school itself as I have heard from my colleagues that this is a good school.My kid being small , I dont want him to go to distant schools.
Principal : Yeah. But you should try in other schools too..
I did not say anything. It was an indirect way of saying that they did not want to give admission to a single parent's child..
Principal added ," We would publish the list of selected students on the school notice board within 2 weeks. You can come and check."
I looked at the side where my son is sitting. His interview was going on !!
Principal asked the teacher ,"Are you done ?"
Teacher , "Yes".
I said "Thank You" and came out of the room with my son. The result was known to me.
My mom was waiting outside.
She asked , "Is the interview over ?"
I : Yes.
Mom : Did he get admission.?
I : They will publish it later. But , I dont think that his name will be there in the list.
Mom : Why?
I narrated the entire conversation. My mom shouted at me " Who asked you to tell the principal that you are a divorcee ? "
I : Amma ..This is not some thing I want to hide from them. Is it a crime to be a divorcee ? They should not later trouble my son asking him about his father.
Amma : You can't be honest every where. Look now ,what has happened?
I : Amma , but what is wrong ?
Amma : These schools think that children of single parents could be emotionally insecure or do not get the care they need from home and due to all these issues the children may underperform in their studies. And they dont want anybody to underperform.
I : Amma , I told the principal that he has not even seen his father. Then where is the question of he being worried about a person whom he has not even seen.
Amma: If you want school admission for your child , dont repeat this mistake. That is all I have to tell you.
I was shattered. I did not know what to do. What kind of a world is this ?
I asked God ," You want to trouble me again and again ? Do you get any sadistic pleasure by hurting me every now and then ?"
Two weeks later , though I had no hope , I went to the school to check the admission list published on the notice board. As expected , my son's name was not there in the list.
I told one of my senior colleagues about this.
He said ," Dont worry about such things yar . Go and get application forms from some more schools.
He gave me a list of schools in the city. The next day , I went and checked with 2 schools in the city. They are old schools , but reputed ones. Their admissions had not started. I collected the applications forms from both the schools.In one of them ,they asked me to give the filled applications form by next day as it was the last day for submitting the filled application. I did so.
This time , I was careful in filling the application form. The application form had fields for filling the names of parents , address , phone numbers etc. No where it had any field for the marital status of the parents. I filled my name and my ex-husband's name .
I thought , "Luckily divorce can only take away the status of being wife or husband and not the status of being mother and father to the child . So , I have not given any wrong information in the application form. This time , I wont add the additional information that we got divorced for which any way no provision exists in the application form."
3 days after submitting the application form, we got interview call from the school in the city. I took some more effort this time to prepare my son for the interview. I ensured that he could sing few rhymes, tell a small story ,identify the colours ,say the English Aphabets and count numbers 1-20.
We went inside the principal's room. Principal and one more lady were there. Principal, smiled looking at both of us.
Principal ," Please come in".
I touched my son from behind and murmured 'Say Good afternoon , say good afternoon'
My son : Good Afternoon Sir
The first sigh of relief for me. Both of us were asked to sit.My son was asked sit next to the madam . I had decided to take an anticipatory bail this time.
As soon as I sat ,
I told the principal,"Sir ,my husband is in Kerala and could not make for this interview as he is busy with some official matters.."
Principal " It is okay "
I was a bit relieved.
Principal asked my son: How are you ?
My son looked at me..
I said with an artificial smile " Come on ,Tell him how you are"
My son , looked down and answered reluctantly : Fine
Principal : How old are you ?
My son again looked at me . I said " Tell". He answered : Three and half years
Principal : Good. What is your mother's name ?
My son murmured again : :xxxxxx"
Principal : What is your father's name ?
My son looked at me , conveying me his helplessness and said in Malayalam to me ,
" Ariyilla Amme ( I dont know) "
All the while he has been answering in English , and for this question , he suddenly switched to Malayalam to tell me that he did not know.
He was in a way conveying me that I had not taught him his father's name. Yes,my mistake. It was my mistake.
I did not know what to say. I sat there like a lifeless creature. Tears were struggling in my eyes to come out. I thought, 'Am I going to fail again?"
It seemed like principal was not bothered about why he did not answer the question.
(I was not sure whether he is a Malayali. In most of the christian schools in Bangalore , there are lots of Malayali teachers.I was thinking , Did he understand what my son told me"?)
Principal asked my son to sing a rhyme. My son sang one rhyme . The lady teacher next to him asked him to identify the colour of her saree.
He said " Yellow".
I sighed. Only one question he could not answer, His father's name .
Principal said ," You can pay the fees for this year tomorrow or within 2 days. "
I could not believe my ears.
I asked , "Sir , is his admission confirmed"
He said smilingly ,"Yes"
I came out with my son. My mom was waiting outside. I was having my 70mm smile on my face and told my mom , " He got selected"
When we reached home , I searched for my wedding Album kept inside my ward robes. I showed the Album to my son.
He asked me , "Amma , what is this ?"
I : These are the photoes taken at the time of my marriage.
He touched the picture of the person who was standing next to me in the photo and asked "Who is he ?"
I said " This is your father. His name is XXXXXXX. Say what is your father's name ?"
My son smiled at me. I could see lot of questions in his eyes..
He asked me " Where is he now ? "
I said ," He is in Kerala. Tell me what his name is .
My son , " XXXX".
I said , "Here after if some body asks your father's name , you should tell "My father's name is XXXX" , Okay ??.
My son nodded his head.
I : Tell me once again "What is your father's name ?"
My son : XXXXX
I : Good.
My son : But Amma , Abhi's father live with him . Akash's father also live with him.So why "XXXXX" is not living with us ?
I was almost into tears by then , but answered ," He is busy there in his office. And not just that Kerala is tooooooo far from here. So he cant come. "
My son did not ask anything further. I tried to change the topic and took him outside where his friends were playing
I also joined them and told all his friends , "Look your friend "XXXXXX" got admission in "xxxxxxx" school.
All of them clapped. My son smiled and clapped his hands. Seeing his smile , i realised that the pain in my heart was fading away and away..
In Bangalore , getting admission in a reputed school is the most difficult thing. Admission process for the next academic year starts right from the month of September in some schools and in some it could be later, but mostly before Jan itself.
So ,there came the time for running around for admission when my son turned 3.5 years. I discussed with my friends and colleagues to get to know about the so called reputed schools . I applied in two schools, one in Kormangala and one in Indiranagar.
I was staying in Kormangala then , so wanted to put my son in a good school in Koramangala itself. I think , it was end of Novemeber when we got an interview call from the school nearby. Typically ,most of the people who applied dont get even the interview call. I had not received any call from the school in Indiranagar and later came to know that they even closed their admissions. So , I was happy when I received interview call from the school in Koramangala .
Yes , it is the interview for 3.5 year old kid for the next academic year. And remember ,the interview is not just for kid , for parents too.Almost all the good schools in Bangalore insist that both the parents have to be present during the interview.
On the interview day , my son and I walked to the principal's room. Principal (who also is part of the school management) , Head master and one more lady teacher were present inside the room. After the small initial discussion with me about where I stay ,my job etc, the lady teacher in the room took my son two seats away and started asking some questions.Their conversation was not audible to me.Yes, the interview of the kid has started.
The principal and the head master turned towards me for the next set of questions in stock.
Principal : Mam, so , how come your husband did not turn up ?
I : Sir ..Sir..I am a divorcee
Principal : Oh is it ? How long you have been separated ? Are you legally separated ?
I : Yes , Sir.I am legally divorced , a year back.
Principal : Has your child coped up with this ?
I sat tongue tied for a moment as the pain in my heart was finding its way out through my throat and eyes.
I said in a trembing voice , struggling to ensure that the tears dont run down my cheeks
"He has never seen his father. We have been living separately from the 3rd month of my pregnancy , but the divorce was initiated 2 years back only."
Principal : Oh I see. Dont worry. We have quiet a children whose parents are single parents. We give those children special attention as some of them could be a bit emotionally insecure. We even give some nominal discount on the fee too for such children.
I was happy.
Principal : Have you applied in some other schools ?
I : No sir. We live in Kormangala very near to your school .So , I want my son to study here.
Principal : You should try in other schools too. There is a school called "Cathedral". You can try there.
I : Sir. I would like to put him in this school itself as I have heard from my colleagues that this is a good school.My kid being small , I dont want him to go to distant schools.
Principal : Yeah. But you should try in other schools too..
I did not say anything. It was an indirect way of saying that they did not want to give admission to a single parent's child..
Principal added ," We would publish the list of selected students on the school notice board within 2 weeks. You can come and check."
I looked at the side where my son is sitting. His interview was going on !!
Principal asked the teacher ,"Are you done ?"
Teacher , "Yes".
I said "Thank You" and came out of the room with my son. The result was known to me.
My mom was waiting outside.
She asked , "Is the interview over ?"
I : Yes.
Mom : Did he get admission.?
I : They will publish it later. But , I dont think that his name will be there in the list.
Mom : Why?
I narrated the entire conversation. My mom shouted at me " Who asked you to tell the principal that you are a divorcee ? "
I : Amma ..This is not some thing I want to hide from them. Is it a crime to be a divorcee ? They should not later trouble my son asking him about his father.
Amma : You can't be honest every where. Look now ,what has happened?
I : Amma , but what is wrong ?
Amma : These schools think that children of single parents could be emotionally insecure or do not get the care they need from home and due to all these issues the children may underperform in their studies. And they dont want anybody to underperform.
I : Amma , I told the principal that he has not even seen his father. Then where is the question of he being worried about a person whom he has not even seen.
Amma: If you want school admission for your child , dont repeat this mistake. That is all I have to tell you.
I was shattered. I did not know what to do. What kind of a world is this ?
I asked God ," You want to trouble me again and again ? Do you get any sadistic pleasure by hurting me every now and then ?"
Two weeks later , though I had no hope , I went to the school to check the admission list published on the notice board. As expected , my son's name was not there in the list.
I told one of my senior colleagues about this.
He said ," Dont worry about such things yar . Go and get application forms from some more schools.
He gave me a list of schools in the city. The next day , I went and checked with 2 schools in the city. They are old schools , but reputed ones. Their admissions had not started. I collected the applications forms from both the schools.In one of them ,they asked me to give the filled applications form by next day as it was the last day for submitting the filled application. I did so.
This time , I was careful in filling the application form. The application form had fields for filling the names of parents , address , phone numbers etc. No where it had any field for the marital status of the parents. I filled my name and my ex-husband's name .
I thought , "Luckily divorce can only take away the status of being wife or husband and not the status of being mother and father to the child . So , I have not given any wrong information in the application form. This time , I wont add the additional information that we got divorced for which any way no provision exists in the application form."
3 days after submitting the application form, we got interview call from the school in the city. I took some more effort this time to prepare my son for the interview. I ensured that he could sing few rhymes, tell a small story ,identify the colours ,say the English Aphabets and count numbers 1-20.
We went inside the principal's room. Principal and one more lady were there. Principal, smiled looking at both of us.
Principal ," Please come in".
I touched my son from behind and murmured 'Say Good afternoon , say good afternoon'
My son : Good Afternoon Sir
The first sigh of relief for me. Both of us were asked to sit.My son was asked sit next to the madam . I had decided to take an anticipatory bail this time.
As soon as I sat ,
I told the principal,"Sir ,my husband is in Kerala and could not make for this interview as he is busy with some official matters.."
Principal " It is okay "
I was a bit relieved.
Principal asked my son: How are you ?
My son looked at me..
I said with an artificial smile " Come on ,Tell him how you are"
My son , looked down and answered reluctantly : Fine
Principal : How old are you ?
My son again looked at me . I said " Tell". He answered : Three and half years
Principal : Good. What is your mother's name ?
My son murmured again : :xxxxxx"
Principal : What is your father's name ?
My son looked at me , conveying me his helplessness and said in Malayalam to me ,
" Ariyilla Amme ( I dont know) "
All the while he has been answering in English , and for this question , he suddenly switched to Malayalam to tell me that he did not know.
He was in a way conveying me that I had not taught him his father's name. Yes,my mistake. It was my mistake.
I did not know what to say. I sat there like a lifeless creature. Tears were struggling in my eyes to come out. I thought, 'Am I going to fail again?"
It seemed like principal was not bothered about why he did not answer the question.
(I was not sure whether he is a Malayali. In most of the christian schools in Bangalore , there are lots of Malayali teachers.I was thinking , Did he understand what my son told me"?)
Principal asked my son to sing a rhyme. My son sang one rhyme . The lady teacher next to him asked him to identify the colour of her saree.
He said " Yellow".
I sighed. Only one question he could not answer, His father's name .
Principal said ," You can pay the fees for this year tomorrow or within 2 days. "
I could not believe my ears.
I asked , "Sir , is his admission confirmed"
He said smilingly ,"Yes"
I came out with my son. My mom was waiting outside. I was having my 70mm smile on my face and told my mom , " He got selected"
When we reached home , I searched for my wedding Album kept inside my ward robes. I showed the Album to my son.
He asked me , "Amma , what is this ?"
I : These are the photoes taken at the time of my marriage.
He touched the picture of the person who was standing next to me in the photo and asked "Who is he ?"
I said " This is your father. His name is XXXXXXX. Say what is your father's name ?"
My son smiled at me. I could see lot of questions in his eyes..
He asked me " Where is he now ? "
I said ," He is in Kerala. Tell me what his name is .
My son , " XXXX".
I said , "Here after if some body asks your father's name , you should tell "My father's name is XXXX" , Okay ??.
My son nodded his head.
I : Tell me once again "What is your father's name ?"
My son : XXXXX
I : Good.
My son : But Amma , Abhi's father live with him . Akash's father also live with him.So why "XXXXX" is not living with us ?
I was almost into tears by then , but answered ," He is busy there in his office. And not just that Kerala is tooooooo far from here. So he cant come. "
My son did not ask anything further. I tried to change the topic and took him outside where his friends were playing
I also joined them and told all his friends , "Look your friend "XXXXXX" got admission in "xxxxxxx" school.
All of them clapped. My son smiled and clapped his hands. Seeing his smile , i realised that the pain in my heart was fading away and away..
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Mother's Day
Tomorrow is May 11th , Mother's day. A day for all the mothers in the world !!!
So , it is my day too, being the mother of my cute son !!!
Motherhood starts from the day the baby is born in her womb..and she needs to prepare herself to welcome the god's gift , her baby..
Years back..
I remember the day I was admitted in the hospital for delivery. The doctors came and checked .
They said " The baby's head is not fixed , still there is time".
They took me to the labour room to monitor the baby's movements and also to know the level of my pain. They put a big belt kind of thing which was connected to the monitor next to me. When they were putting the belt around my stomach , they tried to tighten it.
I said .."Oh , no, dont tighten it like that , it will hurt him.."
The nurse looked at me and laughed.
She said, "We are seeing a mother like this for the first time.Dont get scared like this "
She turned on the monitor and sat about 20 ft away from my cot. She was trying to watch the movement of the spikes on the monitor.Suddenly my son moved around inside my womb to the extent that the nurse could see the movements in my stomach sitting 20 ft away.
I said "Ahh..'..
One side of my stomach , I could see the projection which could be his head .Normally they say towards the delivery the movements would be less. But in my case , it was becoming more as I was nearing my delivery date. He moves around so fast and quickly that it pains and I even feel breathless for seconds..Very naughty he is , right from the day he is born in my womb.
My mother used to say "I have not seen such kind of movements for anybody.."
The nurse said "Yes, Your baby has decided to scare you more.."
I asked her "Do you need this monitor to watch his movements inside the womb. You could as well watch it on my stomach sitting there."
She laughed.I was asked to go back to my room. The next day afternoon , the doctors came again for checking.
They said that I need to be admitted to labour room .
I said' But I dont have any pain"..
Doctor said "You need to be admitted as spotting is seen".
I went to the labour room. The nurse gave me enema. My stomach was cleaned fully. She asked me not to eat anything. I was sent back to my room again. It was around 7 PM.My son continued his circus inside my stomach every now and then giving me moments of pain and breathlessness. The pain was increasing every movement . I was taken to the labour room again. They again tried to check the level of labour pain. The doctor also came this time.
She said "It is not labour pain .It could be due to the movements".
But they asked me to be there in the labour room itself. I was asked to lie on a cot, the level of which was very high. I was having a very big and pendulus abdomen due to which I always used to struggle to even turn from one side to other while lying on the bed. Somehow I managed to climb on the cot and lie down. My pain was getting more and more.It must have been around 9 PM , I wanted to drink something.Finally the nurse allowed me to have a glass of black coffee. Since my pain was more , they again measured the level and the spikes , and again concluded that it is not labour pain.
I was wondering , "if this is not labour pain , what is this" ?
My son was becoming more and more restless , hitting me with his head and legs. Minutes seemed to be hours for me and hours seemed to days.My mom was waiting outside the labour room. I was praying God .Nobody else was there in the labour room other than me , the nurse and one more girl. For her , it is going to be caesarean the next day morning. I was again crying with pain.
The nurse was reading a magazine.
She shouted at me " Why are you crying like this not allowing us to even sleep ?"
I was shocked. She is on night duty and she wants to sleep ?
The nurse continued her magazine reading. The lady lying in the next cot looked at me with sympathy. It must have been around 1 PM .I was not able to tolerate the pain any more.
I called the nurse.."Please , please call the doctor. I am having so much pain.
She came to my cot and looked at me and said "No ,it is not time.I know when to call the doctor"
I kept silent. I was praying God again. It must have been around 2 PM. I was almost into tears due to pain. I requested the nurse to call the duty doctor. The main doctor stays next to the hospital. Only if required , they would call her.
The nurse said "No' to my request. My pain overruled my patience level.
I shouted at her'You need to call the doctor.I cant stand this pain.."
Very reluctantly she called the duty doctor.
I could hear her telling over the phone " The patient here is making lot of noise.Please come to the labour room".
At last the duty doctor arrived. I was all into tears by then. She came and examined me.
The same sentence "No , labour pain has not started ".
I was wondering what does this labour pain mean if all that I am undergoing through is not labour pain.
I asked her why you are telling like this ? I will die .."
She tried to break the membrane and water started flowing.
She said " I am doing this so that your labour pain would start" .
She went back. It must have been 3 PM . I was writhing in pain. Not able to even turn to the other side because of the large abdomen.
I called the nurse " Could please help me to turn to the other side , Please .." I cried.
She came to me and turned me to the other side. I told her to call the doctor again. She refused initially .
I was stubburn.. "Please call the doctor. Do something..I will die. If I cant have normal delivery , take me to operation theatre. Please ..I cant stand this..Please "
She called the doctor again .The duty doctor came. She instructed the nurse to move me to the labour table next to the cot I was lying. They moved me to the table. I was put on drips. The doctor told me that there is medicine in the drips which would help me to have labour pain. The needle went into my hands..I wanted to go to the toilet. They did not allow. They put a tube to take the urine out. It was only pain every where , while putting needle , tube..But it did not affect me as already my pain had reached a level of saturation..
The doctor went back. The nurse was sitting next to me with magazine.I was crying , crying.Slowly the pain increased further.I did not even know that i was crying loudly at times. Time was passing by..
I asked the nurse "When will my baby come out ?".
She said "I dont know,God decides it."
I pleaded her "Then please call doctor and take me to operation theatre .I will die otherwise."
I did not know what was happening and where and all it was paining.After some time the nurse called the doctor .The main doctor also came.I was crying loudly.Looks like something is stuck inside.But not coming out. I tried hard to push .
The doctor said.."You need to push harder.."
I tried my level best again and again..(My mother later told me that she went to the other buiding as she was not able to stand there peacefully hearing me crying..But as she reached the next building , there also my voice was heard..She was chanting "Narayana, Narayana " to have a normal and smooth delivery for me) I was not knowing anything..I must have been crying so loudly that it reached the next building too..At last at 5.44 am , he came out.
The doctor asked me "Do you want a boy or girl"..
I whispered "I know , it is he"..
She asked me "So , you knew it already "..
I said "yes"..
The nurse brought my son to me.I was lying on the labour table. She came to the side of my head and showed my baby.He was so cute.Pink in colour , Bright and big eyes.Normally the new born babies have their eyes closed.But his eyes were wide open.I wanted to touch him.But , i realised that I was so dirty.I gently touched him with the tip of my forefinger.
I smiled..I wanted to tell to the whole world that I have become a mother.
The nurse told me "At last , you smiled"..
I was so happy , so happy that I forgot all the pain I underwent. The doctor told me that they never expected me to have a normal delivery because the baby's head was not fixed and also I was having a huge tummy than normal ( People used to think that I have 2 babies inside my womb).They were planning to move me to operation theatre in the morning had I not delivered by morning.
They asked me "who is waiting outside the labour room "?
I said " My mom..".
They went out along with my baby. I thought of my husband.
After a couple of hours , I was brought to my room. My baby was already there..
I told my mom"Could you please phone "xxxx" (My husband) him and tell him that he has become a father ? I want to see him.."
My mom said "I have already done that"
I looked at my son. His weight was 3.6 Kg..
I thought that my husband would come that day to see my son. He never came to meet me from the 3rd month of my pregnancy. I fought with fate to overcome all the miseries I faced during pregnancy. At least now , will he not have the desire to see his baby ? I was sure that God wont leave me to struggle any more.I thought that he would come running to see his cute baby..
But God was not kind. My husband did not turn up that day.The next day afternoon , he came with his parents.My mom and relatives were there.It must have been 6 months since I met my husband. I looked at him and our baby.
I told him ," I want to speak to you..Please let us have 5 min alone."
His parents and my relatives went outside.
I told him "Our son is cute..He looks like you.."
He looked at my son.
I again said "Please dont go today"..
He said "I need to ..I will speak to you after 2 months'..
I was shocked.
I said "We have become father and mother now. Please dont leave me and our son alone any more. What do you want to speak to me after 2 months? Why cant you tell me now ?"
He said "Now , you are tired..I will tell you once you regain your health after 2 months"
He said looking at the watch "Oh it is time now , I need to go.."
He must have hardly spent 15 min in the hospital. He left.
He left to tell me later over phone that he wanted to live his life the way he wants and was not bothered about what the society says.
He added " Do you know Hilari clinton supported Bill Clinton when the Levensky Scandal was there.If you wanted a father for your son ,you also should have kept quiet.I cannot change my life style for a wife and a son. I have all the freedom to live my life the way I want. ".
I did not know what to tell.. I knew that there was no point in talking.. I was shocked..I was shattered.
Yes, he has all the right and freedom to live the life he wants..But ,does anybody has right to spoil some body else's life ?.
He never came again.I was left all alone with a small baby ..
I have seen mother cats licking their kitten in love ..This man , doesnt he feel any kind of love and affection towards his own blood ? Whom else he can love ?
If motherhood means the world for me , if my baby means more than the world for me , what is fatherhood? I dont know..
My baby and I sailed through everything..
We are happy here in the corner of this world with lots and lots of love for each other..
I wish that we remain mother and son for all the births to come..
So , it is my day too, being the mother of my cute son !!!
Motherhood starts from the day the baby is born in her womb..and she needs to prepare herself to welcome the god's gift , her baby..
Years back..
I remember the day I was admitted in the hospital for delivery. The doctors came and checked .
They said " The baby's head is not fixed , still there is time".
They took me to the labour room to monitor the baby's movements and also to know the level of my pain. They put a big belt kind of thing which was connected to the monitor next to me. When they were putting the belt around my stomach , they tried to tighten it.
I said .."Oh , no, dont tighten it like that , it will hurt him.."
The nurse looked at me and laughed.
She said, "We are seeing a mother like this for the first time.Dont get scared like this "
She turned on the monitor and sat about 20 ft away from my cot. She was trying to watch the movement of the spikes on the monitor.Suddenly my son moved around inside my womb to the extent that the nurse could see the movements in my stomach sitting 20 ft away.
I said "Ahh..'..
One side of my stomach , I could see the projection which could be his head .Normally they say towards the delivery the movements would be less. But in my case , it was becoming more as I was nearing my delivery date. He moves around so fast and quickly that it pains and I even feel breathless for seconds..Very naughty he is , right from the day he is born in my womb.
My mother used to say "I have not seen such kind of movements for anybody.."
The nurse said "Yes, Your baby has decided to scare you more.."
I asked her "Do you need this monitor to watch his movements inside the womb. You could as well watch it on my stomach sitting there."
She laughed.I was asked to go back to my room. The next day afternoon , the doctors came again for checking.
They said that I need to be admitted to labour room .
I said' But I dont have any pain"..
Doctor said "You need to be admitted as spotting is seen".
I went to the labour room. The nurse gave me enema. My stomach was cleaned fully. She asked me not to eat anything. I was sent back to my room again. It was around 7 PM.My son continued his circus inside my stomach every now and then giving me moments of pain and breathlessness. The pain was increasing every movement . I was taken to the labour room again. They again tried to check the level of labour pain. The doctor also came this time.
She said "It is not labour pain .It could be due to the movements".
But they asked me to be there in the labour room itself. I was asked to lie on a cot, the level of which was very high. I was having a very big and pendulus abdomen due to which I always used to struggle to even turn from one side to other while lying on the bed. Somehow I managed to climb on the cot and lie down. My pain was getting more and more.It must have been around 9 PM , I wanted to drink something.Finally the nurse allowed me to have a glass of black coffee. Since my pain was more , they again measured the level and the spikes , and again concluded that it is not labour pain.
I was wondering , "if this is not labour pain , what is this" ?
My son was becoming more and more restless , hitting me with his head and legs. Minutes seemed to be hours for me and hours seemed to days.My mom was waiting outside the labour room. I was praying God .Nobody else was there in the labour room other than me , the nurse and one more girl. For her , it is going to be caesarean the next day morning. I was again crying with pain.
The nurse was reading a magazine.
She shouted at me " Why are you crying like this not allowing us to even sleep ?"
I was shocked. She is on night duty and she wants to sleep ?
The nurse continued her magazine reading. The lady lying in the next cot looked at me with sympathy. It must have been around 1 PM .I was not able to tolerate the pain any more.
I called the nurse.."Please , please call the doctor. I am having so much pain.
She came to my cot and looked at me and said "No ,it is not time.I know when to call the doctor"
I kept silent. I was praying God again. It must have been around 2 PM. I was almost into tears due to pain. I requested the nurse to call the duty doctor. The main doctor stays next to the hospital. Only if required , they would call her.
The nurse said "No' to my request. My pain overruled my patience level.
I shouted at her'You need to call the doctor.I cant stand this pain.."
Very reluctantly she called the duty doctor.
I could hear her telling over the phone " The patient here is making lot of noise.Please come to the labour room".
At last the duty doctor arrived. I was all into tears by then. She came and examined me.
The same sentence "No , labour pain has not started ".
I was wondering what does this labour pain mean if all that I am undergoing through is not labour pain.
I asked her why you are telling like this ? I will die .."
She tried to break the membrane and water started flowing.
She said " I am doing this so that your labour pain would start" .
She went back. It must have been 3 PM . I was writhing in pain. Not able to even turn to the other side because of the large abdomen.
I called the nurse " Could please help me to turn to the other side , Please .." I cried.
She came to me and turned me to the other side. I told her to call the doctor again. She refused initially .
I was stubburn.. "Please call the doctor. Do something..I will die. If I cant have normal delivery , take me to operation theatre. Please ..I cant stand this..Please "
She called the doctor again .The duty doctor came. She instructed the nurse to move me to the labour table next to the cot I was lying. They moved me to the table. I was put on drips. The doctor told me that there is medicine in the drips which would help me to have labour pain. The needle went into my hands..I wanted to go to the toilet. They did not allow. They put a tube to take the urine out. It was only pain every where , while putting needle , tube..But it did not affect me as already my pain had reached a level of saturation..
The doctor went back. The nurse was sitting next to me with magazine.I was crying , crying.Slowly the pain increased further.I did not even know that i was crying loudly at times. Time was passing by..
I asked the nurse "When will my baby come out ?".
She said "I dont know,God decides it."
I pleaded her "Then please call doctor and take me to operation theatre .I will die otherwise."
I did not know what was happening and where and all it was paining.After some time the nurse called the doctor .The main doctor also came.I was crying loudly.Looks like something is stuck inside.But not coming out. I tried hard to push .
The doctor said.."You need to push harder.."
I tried my level best again and again..(My mother later told me that she went to the other buiding as she was not able to stand there peacefully hearing me crying..But as she reached the next building , there also my voice was heard..She was chanting "Narayana, Narayana " to have a normal and smooth delivery for me) I was not knowing anything..I must have been crying so loudly that it reached the next building too..At last at 5.44 am , he came out.
The doctor asked me "Do you want a boy or girl"..
I whispered "I know , it is he"..
She asked me "So , you knew it already "..
I said "yes"..
The nurse brought my son to me.I was lying on the labour table. She came to the side of my head and showed my baby.He was so cute.Pink in colour , Bright and big eyes.Normally the new born babies have their eyes closed.But his eyes were wide open.I wanted to touch him.But , i realised that I was so dirty.I gently touched him with the tip of my forefinger.
I smiled..I wanted to tell to the whole world that I have become a mother.
The nurse told me "At last , you smiled"..
I was so happy , so happy that I forgot all the pain I underwent. The doctor told me that they never expected me to have a normal delivery because the baby's head was not fixed and also I was having a huge tummy than normal ( People used to think that I have 2 babies inside my womb).They were planning to move me to operation theatre in the morning had I not delivered by morning.
They asked me "who is waiting outside the labour room "?
I said " My mom..".
They went out along with my baby. I thought of my husband.
After a couple of hours , I was brought to my room. My baby was already there..
I told my mom"Could you please phone "xxxx" (My husband) him and tell him that he has become a father ? I want to see him.."
My mom said "I have already done that"
I looked at my son. His weight was 3.6 Kg..
I thought that my husband would come that day to see my son. He never came to meet me from the 3rd month of my pregnancy. I fought with fate to overcome all the miseries I faced during pregnancy. At least now , will he not have the desire to see his baby ? I was sure that God wont leave me to struggle any more.I thought that he would come running to see his cute baby..
But God was not kind. My husband did not turn up that day.The next day afternoon , he came with his parents.My mom and relatives were there.It must have been 6 months since I met my husband. I looked at him and our baby.
I told him ," I want to speak to you..Please let us have 5 min alone."
His parents and my relatives went outside.
I told him "Our son is cute..He looks like you.."
He looked at my son.
I again said "Please dont go today"..
He said "I need to ..I will speak to you after 2 months'..
I was shocked.
I said "We have become father and mother now. Please dont leave me and our son alone any more. What do you want to speak to me after 2 months? Why cant you tell me now ?"
He said "Now , you are tired..I will tell you once you regain your health after 2 months"
He said looking at the watch "Oh it is time now , I need to go.."
He must have hardly spent 15 min in the hospital. He left.
He left to tell me later over phone that he wanted to live his life the way he wants and was not bothered about what the society says.
He added " Do you know Hilari clinton supported Bill Clinton when the Levensky Scandal was there.If you wanted a father for your son ,you also should have kept quiet.I cannot change my life style for a wife and a son. I have all the freedom to live my life the way I want. ".
I did not know what to tell.. I knew that there was no point in talking.. I was shocked..I was shattered.
Yes, he has all the right and freedom to live the life he wants..But ,does anybody has right to spoil some body else's life ?.
He never came again.I was left all alone with a small baby ..
I have seen mother cats licking their kitten in love ..This man , doesnt he feel any kind of love and affection towards his own blood ? Whom else he can love ?
If motherhood means the world for me , if my baby means more than the world for me , what is fatherhood? I dont know..
My baby and I sailed through everything..
We are happy here in the corner of this world with lots and lots of love for each other..
I wish that we remain mother and son for all the births to come..
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
My travel to office in company bus
Yesterday when I got down from my company bus at my stop , the boy who opened the door said something in a hurry..I could hear only one thing "12 min before"..Before I could hear the full sentence the bus started. In fact the driver is new ,the boy also is new ..So they did not know that I have to get down at that place..So first I thought that they wanted me to tell them about my stop a couple of min before. But I recollected what the boy said "12 min" before..Suddenly it struck me. Has the company admin changed the bus timings ? I used to get into the bus from my stop at 8'0 clock. Is the bus going to arrive at my stop 12 min earlier ? Anyway I decided to go to the stop earlier .
So today I reached the bus stop at 7.45. I might have waited there for 1 min. Yes, there comes my bus. I got into the bus.
I asked the boy who was standing on the foot board "Why did you change the timings today?"
The boy said 'It is going to be like this everyday".
I : Oh is it ? But why ?
Boy : Admin has instructed us to reach the office by 8.15 am.
I : I looked at the lady sitting next to me and smiled ..( In fact , in that smile there were all other emotions other than the smile ). She also smiled at me. The lady sitting in the next seat smiled at both of us. What must have been there in that smile ? Same emotions as mine..Could not be anyway different..
I was cursing the company. The office timing is from 8.30 to 6 PM. But the bus starts only at 6.15 in the evening. So, with this we would be working from 8.15 to 6.15 ie 10 hours mandatorily we need to spend time there. I cursed myself for not learning driving even after having these many years of work experience. In fact , even the fresh engineers come by car. What a shame for a manager ?
In fact , it is not that I did not attempt learning. Ofcourse , 2 times I joined the driving school and donated some money also to them. But could not continue the classes for various reasons. A third attempt , ofcourse it is there in my mind..But , still time has not come..Dont know when.My mom even threatened me last year that if you are not learning driving , then I would go for it..
I could not curse the company and myself for too long , suddenly one song interrupted the curses and thoughts..Oh which is this song ? "Soldier , soldier , meetti bathem bolke dil mera chura le gaya..." How come this guy is playing this song ? Either they play new songs or very old songs in the bus..This one ,dont fall into those categories..Sometime back , this was one of the songs I used to sing when I climb up / down the stairs of my working women's hostel..Ofcourse not so nostalgic about the life in hostel..Was anyway not so good..But it reminded me one thing. When was the last time I sang 2 lines of a song of this kind ? No , it must have been years and years..The song was again hitting my ears .It did not want to leave me like that. What do these lines mean ? Some body stole my heart by sweet talk..Good.The song is all about "love". If there had not been an emotion called 'love' there would not have been these beautiful songs on love. Love is good if it is true , if it is unconditional , if it is real ..But is it there? Something started aching inside my heart ..Something started hitting my throat ? The me inside , the sensitive and dreamy me , want to cry .. Have I ever heard the voice of love ? No , never ..
I told me , stop these thoughts ..Suddenly the next song came to my rescue ..Oh nayyo , nayyo, nayyo.. The fast number from the same film , soldier. My legs and hands can never resist the temptation to move in rhythm to these fast numbers , be it years back or now..It was slowly changing my mood..But ofcourse I cant dance inside my bus..I was trying to recollect the steps of this song , Preeti Zinda and Bobby deol dancing to the tunes of this fast number. Finally I reisted the temptation to dance by gently tapping on my mobile to the tunes . Then came the next song..Must be from the same film. But I dont recollect. End of it , yes , the bus reached office.
Oh , the day begins at office . I need to put the tag on ( One thing I hate ..You know why ? It is a secret . First of all its colour has got faded . Ofcourse I can get another one. But this stupid blue tag dont suit the colour of most of my dresses . Chey , it does not look good then :-) ).
But the security wont let me in. So , I put on the tag. Yes , now I have that identity. I entered the building. Entered my wing. The swiping machine beeped as I swiped my card.I looked at the time.Oh it is 8.06 . We reached so fast to office..The day began..........
Was late to leave office..It was 7.45 pm when I left the office..
Feelings sleepy..Let me stop the nonsense here..
So today I reached the bus stop at 7.45. I might have waited there for 1 min. Yes, there comes my bus. I got into the bus.
I asked the boy who was standing on the foot board "Why did you change the timings today?"
The boy said 'It is going to be like this everyday".
I : Oh is it ? But why ?
Boy : Admin has instructed us to reach the office by 8.15 am.
I : I looked at the lady sitting next to me and smiled ..( In fact , in that smile there were all other emotions other than the smile ). She also smiled at me. The lady sitting in the next seat smiled at both of us. What must have been there in that smile ? Same emotions as mine..Could not be anyway different..
I was cursing the company. The office timing is from 8.30 to 6 PM. But the bus starts only at 6.15 in the evening. So, with this we would be working from 8.15 to 6.15 ie 10 hours mandatorily we need to spend time there. I cursed myself for not learning driving even after having these many years of work experience. In fact , even the fresh engineers come by car. What a shame for a manager ?
In fact , it is not that I did not attempt learning. Ofcourse , 2 times I joined the driving school and donated some money also to them. But could not continue the classes for various reasons. A third attempt , ofcourse it is there in my mind..But , still time has not come..Dont know when.My mom even threatened me last year that if you are not learning driving , then I would go for it..
I could not curse the company and myself for too long , suddenly one song interrupted the curses and thoughts..Oh which is this song ? "Soldier , soldier , meetti bathem bolke dil mera chura le gaya..." How come this guy is playing this song ? Either they play new songs or very old songs in the bus..This one ,dont fall into those categories..Sometime back , this was one of the songs I used to sing when I climb up / down the stairs of my working women's hostel..Ofcourse not so nostalgic about the life in hostel..Was anyway not so good..But it reminded me one thing. When was the last time I sang 2 lines of a song of this kind ? No , it must have been years and years..The song was again hitting my ears .It did not want to leave me like that. What do these lines mean ? Some body stole my heart by sweet talk..Good.The song is all about "love". If there had not been an emotion called 'love' there would not have been these beautiful songs on love. Love is good if it is true , if it is unconditional , if it is real ..But is it there? Something started aching inside my heart ..Something started hitting my throat ? The me inside , the sensitive and dreamy me , want to cry .. Have I ever heard the voice of love ? No , never ..
I told me , stop these thoughts ..Suddenly the next song came to my rescue ..Oh nayyo , nayyo, nayyo.. The fast number from the same film , soldier. My legs and hands can never resist the temptation to move in rhythm to these fast numbers , be it years back or now..It was slowly changing my mood..But ofcourse I cant dance inside my bus..I was trying to recollect the steps of this song , Preeti Zinda and Bobby deol dancing to the tunes of this fast number. Finally I reisted the temptation to dance by gently tapping on my mobile to the tunes . Then came the next song..Must be from the same film. But I dont recollect. End of it , yes , the bus reached office.
Oh , the day begins at office . I need to put the tag on ( One thing I hate ..You know why ? It is a secret . First of all its colour has got faded . Ofcourse I can get another one. But this stupid blue tag dont suit the colour of most of my dresses . Chey , it does not look good then :-) ).
But the security wont let me in. So , I put on the tag. Yes , now I have that identity. I entered the building. Entered my wing. The swiping machine beeped as I swiped my card.I looked at the time.Oh it is 8.06 . We reached so fast to office..The day began..........
Was late to leave office..It was 7.45 pm when I left the office..
Feelings sleepy..Let me stop the nonsense here..
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