Is our mother tongue heading towards oblivion ?

Today I happened to watch some part of the "Miss Kerala" event in Asianet. It was surprising for me to me note that inspite of this being an event to elect the "so called" beautiful Kerala girl,none of them spoke in Malayalam ..either the compere or the partcipants or the judges..
In fact , the one and only person who tried to ask a question in Malaylam among the judges was none other than the Tamil actor Bala and I do appreciate him for that.

What happened to us ? You tune in to any Malayalam channel , the TV anchors mostly speak English or anglicized Malayalam .

How much I missed Malayalam during my 6 years of life in Bangalore ? A lot ! In my work place, there was hardly any malayali . I should say that I had craved to crack or hear a joke in Malayalam. I used to call my "Mallu" friends working in other companies for a chance to speak in Malayalam. What ever jokes we share in my office , nothing had an impact on me as much as one in malayalam . I used to even feel that the cosmopolitan crowd in Bangalore even dont have a humour sense. My career in fact started with a company in Kerala where I had lots of friends each unique by their own way of expressing humour. It was totally a global and polished environment when I moved to the IT Company in Bangalore. Though I had a better working atmosphere there , I used to miss a lot the fun we used to have in my previous company inspite of all the work pressure we had there..

This craving for Malayalam was much more for my father. He always used to manage to find out at least one Malayali family which ever our apartment complex we stayed in B'lore , because he gets suffocated without speaking in Malayalam. Though I used to tease him sometimes , I could definitely understand the agony of my talkative father.

When I decided to move to Kochi , I thought that I can speak Malayalam whole heartedly here. But after moving here , I realized that I am mistaken.Here most of the crowd I know either speak English or anglicized Malayalam.

When I moved here , I was looking for a good English Medium School for my son and was very particular that they speak good English in the school . Because if at all I make a decision to move back to Bangalore , he should not get into issues. In B'lore , most of the people make fun of the mallu accent . So , I was particular that his language should not have the mother tongue influence. One side , I am happy that he got into the so called hi-fi school here and definitely their English is also good. But , on the other side , I feel that it is such a polished environment there that even the smiles on the faces of the people there are so artificial. Sometimes , for some reason if at at all I need to go to school and if I cant make it , I request my mother to go. But she refuses saying that she hates to go to that "English" speaking community. She used to manage in Bangalore when ever I cannot visit his school. People there used to be so friendly with her including the teachers or parents of other children. She used to communicate in Malayalam , Tamil, Kannada or Hindi based on the language the other person is comfortable with. But in our own Kochi ,she is so reluctant to visit my son's school as she may be expected to speak in English which she does not want to try.

In our apartment complex in Kochi , none of the children speak in Malayalam as they all study in English Medium school and speaking Malayalam is a crime in the school , the rule which they follow even at home. My son speaks to me in English a pratice which I was forced to develop when I was in Bangalore for the survival of my son in that cosmopolitan city. Now also he continues the same or speaks in "anglicised Malayalam" as he is not able to get away with his habits. I dont deny the fact that I as a mother ofcourse have the complete responsiblity to teach him proper Malayalam. He writes Malayalam alphabets and also reads to a good extent but pronunciation is not all that great which I hope that he may improve over a period of time. But , am having tough time in teaching Appu his Malayalam lessons. Almost every word I have to translate in English for him to understand its meaning. In fact , it was the other way round for me when I started learning English as a kid !!!

Now , some facts about the community where I live now. I live in an apartement close to the city. The community there speaks only English. Our association meetings are held in English. (I have not noticed any rule in our association rules/regulations that speaking malayalam is an offence which attracts penalty.) But , still people there ,take the help of English , if at all for any reason they need to interact. Dont know whether smiling is also an offence in the association rules that most of them dont even smile even if we meet inside lift. One way , it is good for me otherwise I will have to again fabricate the story of NRI husband to answer the queries of my inquistive neighbours. The "English" mania is so much that once I had to witness a humorous scene where in my retired neighbour was trying to speak in English to our plumber , an old man . The old man looked very embarrased and finally my neighbour spoke in "Pacha Malayalam" because he had to get his "Kudivella prasnam" resolved.

Where are we heading ? Our children are not exposed to good Malayalam either at home or society .Even our entertainment media is exposing them to "Anglicised Malayalam". May be ,this English speaking syndrome is mostly there in Kochi only - the so called cosmopolitan city and other towns/cities in Kerala could be better. Ofcourse , as part of globalisation , we all need to know English well so as to effectively communicate.But at the same time can we forget our mother tongue ? 196 languages in India are identified by UNESCO as "Vulnerable/Endangered/Extinct". Our language may not get into this list , but will we have good Malayalam Literature , songs , poems if this continues ? I doubt !!

Note - Some of you may be thinking that my post itself is in English when I am so much emphasizing on the need for we using proper Malayalam. I am facing difficulties in fact when I try to use the Malayalam Scripts, most of the time my edit window hangs . ie when I gave up after trying it once. I am neither an expert in Malayalam nor in English , what I know is to pen down my feelings here , in what ever way I can...

Life goes on

It has been long time since I scribbled something here..

I was too busy with many things both at home and office .Did not get time at all to pen down something..

Nothing has changed much..I shifted to my new flat in Apr 09. It was hectic infact. I had to run around to get things done---and finally we moved. Appu and I went to Trivandrum for a short trip. We stayed there for 2 days and came back. My son's school re-opened..Not sure why he has become very disobedient now a days.May be because he does not have many friends here in the new flat unlike my earlier rented one. In fact, he is infront of computers all the time. I had to disable the broad band connection finally ..Still he has not improved much..I tried all the parenting tricks I know .Nothing is working..

About a month back , while appu and I were in a restaurant , he asked me ," If I get first prize in Maths Olympiad , will my photo come in the news paper?"

I said ," May be. Why did you ask?"

Appu," If my photo comes in paper and if "xxx" ( he calls his dad by his name..whom he has never ever seen) sees it, will he come to my school to see me ?"

I got stunned..But slowly I asked,"Do you wish to see him?"

Appu ," Tell me whether he will come or not"

I "I dont know Appu..He never came so far. How do you expect him to come now ? I dont think that he would. First of all , he wont even know that the boy in the photo is his own son as he has never seen you.By the way why do you want to see him when he never ever bothered about us so far"

Appu,"Amma , he may come..It may be simply your feeling that he is bad"

I again got stunned. I realised that there was no point in arguing. He wants to see his father..It is as simple as that. But his father does not feel so.

Appu ,"Do you know where he is ?"

I ,"I dont know.He may be there in the same old place where he works"

Appu ,"Ammamma ( my mother) said that some body told her that he got married again"

I ,"I dont know Appu. It could be a rumour. In fact , as far as I know , he does not want to get married to any body.He prefers to live alone enjoying all his freedom"

Appu did not ask me anything more..

How do I tell my son that his father never ever bothered to even touch his baby when he came down to hospital under the pressure of his parents soon after my delivery . He returned my baby's cute photographs when I sent them to him thinking that it might cause some change in his brutal mind. He shouted at me ruthlessly when I begged him to come for my son's "chorun" ceremony . He never even bothered to look at my cute 2-year son toddling around in the family court when we went for divorce.. How do i tell my son all these ?

How do I explain that his father values " freedom to live the life the way he wants" than any other commitments ?

I realised that inspite of my all effort to play the roles of both mother and father, my son wants his father. I wont blame him. He is growing up. He needs a father's presence more than a mother. One who could play with him football , cricket , have pillow fights etc etc..Me as a mother is probably not successful now to play the role of father too..

It is tough for single parents to bring up their kids..It is tough. May be , after 1 or 2 years , my son would understand me better ...

Then and Now

Few days back my son Appu came to me and said ,"Amma , you need to buy me a new toy .It is just Rs.500/-"

I was surprised and asked him ,"Do you know how much is Rs.500?"

Appu nodded his head and said,"Yes, Yes"

I said ," I dont have money to waste for all these. You are now 8 years. No need of all these costly toys. ."

Appu ,"No , no. You have money amma. You get money from ATM. You are simply telling lies"

I said ," Money does not come just like that from ATM. My company has to deposit my salary in my account. I do have lot of expenses this month for some wood work and all. So , forget about toy. You need to understand the value of money , Appu"

Appu ,"Okay..Okay.."

I kept wondering..When did I ask for Rs.500/- to my parents ? In college ? That too to buy books ? When did I see Rs.500/- currency ? Most likely when I was in college.

I said ,"Appu , do you know how Amma used to go to school? I used to go by walking. All the 10 years I studied in school , I used to walk to my school. My primary school was 1.5 Km away from my house . My UP School was again 1.5 km away and my high school was almost 4 km away . Still I used to walk to high school. Primary and UP Schools, I used to walk bare foot. I got a pair of sandals when I was in high school"

Appu ,Surprised "Walking and that too without Sandal !! Why Amma , ammamma and acchachan( my parents ) did not have any money to send you by school bus"

I " School bus ? Those days , we have not even heard about school bus. Our school was a normal Malayalam Medium school with no fees ( Or Rs.5 per year..Dont remember). There was no school bus ...But we had good teachers"

Appu,"Did you have swimming pool in the school , like mine"

I laughed and said ,"Swimming pool ? We have water streams and paddy fields on both the sides of the road as we walk to the school."

Appu ,"Do you know swimming ?"

I ," Yes"

Appu" How did you learn ?"

I "I learnt by myself when I was 6 years old. Have you seen the pond in achappa's house (my grandmother)..There I learnt myself"

Appu," You learnt yourself ? We have swimming coach in our school. Did you have swimming costume and goggles like mine"

I " Ha ha.. Those days we did not know of any such costume. I did not even have a good school bag , forget about swimming costume. I still remember , you know, those days , children used to carry a big square box made of steel to carry books. I had so much of a desire to own one. But never I could have my dream fulfilled. As you said , achacha and ammamma (my parents) did not have money for anything other than giving us 3 times food ."

Appu ," Did you have a lunch box ? What snacks you used to carry to school ? Biscuits, cakes ,pizza ,burger?"

I ," Curd rice my son..What else ? We had n't even seen biscuits unless for occasions like marriages. Pizza and Burger - Were they available those days? I dont know. See , everyday you take snacks to school . But half of it you waste . You have different kinds of biscuits at home..But you dont want any one of them. I have to be after you for hours to make you eat something."

Appu,"Okay..Okay..but now you have money , no?"

I " It does not come just like that. Amma studied and got a job . You also need to study well. We have never seen toys those days. Look ,your room is full of toys. But still you want more and more. Just to use for a couple of days and then throw.."

Appu,"You did not have toys also ? Then how you used to play"

I ,"We play hide and seek like you . We also play shop keeper game. For that ,we used to make weighing balance with strings and coconut shells. Then we used to make houses with small sticks and with roof made of leaves. All that.. . Appu , amma is not telling that you also need to struggle like me. But you need to understand the value of money.

There are so many children in the streets who dont go to school, who struggle to eat at least once in a day. Some of those children dont have mother or father..We should thank God for all the comfort we have and we also need to understand the value of food , money , studies etc..Okay..?

Dont know whether my son understood fully..Might have understood partly.

To a great extent I am also responsible for creating this abundance and my son not realising the value of it. Yes, this generation is different. Their needs are different. But yes , it is also equally important for them to at least understand the harsh realities of life too..

Wishing You All A Very Happy New Year 2009

Wish You All A Very Happy
And
Prosperous New Year 2009 !!!

Best Wishes ,

Rachana And Appu